Article by Jeremiah Riner
The Alarming Reality
The numbers are stark and unsettling. According to a March 2022 Barna Group study, a staggering 42% of pastors have considered stepping away from ministry in the past year, a 13% increase from the previous year. Thousands do leave each year, citing reasons such as overwhelming stress, loneliness, and the toll on their families. Even more concerning is the rise in moral failings, pointing to deeper struggles lurking beneath the surface.
But this crisis isn’t limited to pastors. Across congregations, believers are facing mounting battles with obesity, depression, suicide, and substance abuse. These struggles aren’t just societal trends; they are infiltrating the church itself. And yet, in the midst of all this, one crucial question is often neglected: How are YOU doing?
We spend so much time pouring into others—our families, our ministries, our communities—that we fail to check in on our own hearts. The truth is simple but profound: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Both life and ministry demand a great deal from us. They can be time-consuming, exhausting, and even heartbreaking. Yet, many Christians fail to grasp that self-care is not just permissible, it’s biblical.
1 Timothy 4:16 – "Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee."
Taking care of ourselves—physically and spiritually—is not an act of selfishness. It’s an act of stewardship. When we neglect our well-being, we’re not just hurting ourselves; we’re diminishing our ability to serve others effectively.
Two Opposing Views on Self-Care
The False Gospel of Self-Reliance
In today’s culture, self-care is often championed as a self-centered pursuit of happiness—leaning on ourselves as the ultimate solution. But Scripture warns against such an approach:
Proverbs 3:5 – "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and do not lean on thine own understanding."
Instead of seeking true healing, many fall into destructive coping mechanisms:
Overworking – believing that sheer effort can solve everything.
Overeating – using food as the drug of choice while ruining our bodies and minds.
Overindulging – accumulating possessions in the hope of finding happiness.
Overmedicating – numbing pain rather than addressing it; hoping no one will notice.
Overthinking – putting faith in worldly advice, cheap therapy, and online influencers rather than biblical wisdom.
Overestimating our righteousness – feeling so bad about ourselves we begin to say terrible things about others who we compare ourselves to.
These tactics might provide fleeting relief, but they fail to heal the heart. Instead, they lead to deeper burnout, emptiness, and despair.
The True Gospel of Rest in Christ
The only lasting solution is found in leaning on Jesus Christ. True self-care is not about indulging ourselves but about anchoring ourselves in Him.
Matthew 11:28-30 – "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Augustine captured this sentiment well as he wrote, "I have read in Plato and Cicero sayings that are wise and very beautiful; but I have never read in either of them: Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden." Amen! Self-care, when rightly understood, is not about selfish retreat but about spiritual renewal. It is about tending to our bodies and souls in a way that glorifies God and strengthens us for His work.
Five Essential Areas of Biblical Self-Care
1. Time in Prayer
In the rush of daily life, our spiritual health is often the first casualty. Yet, if Jesus Himself prioritized time alone in prayer with the Father, how much more do we need it?
Mark 1:35 – "And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed."
A strong, vibrant walk with God isn’t just important, it’s foundational.
2. Physical Health
We cannot expect to be emotionally or spiritually strong if we are physically weak. Caring for our bodies is not vanity, it’s obedience. Particularly for pastors and parents, because it's hard to follow someone who isn't consistently practicing self-control with their bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – "What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
Our bodies are temples, not trash cans. Stewarding them well honors the God in whose image we are created.
3. Rest and Sleep
Many wear exhaustion like a badge of honor, but God designed us to rest. Lack of sleep affects our mood, decision-making, and relationships. Rest isn’t just beneficial, but a commandment from The Lord. On the other hand, burnout is not a spiritual virtue. It's a warning sign.
Psalm 23:1-3 – "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul…"
4. Healthy Boundaries and Scheduling
Many believers need to learn the power of saying "no." Busyness is not the same as effectiveness. We need space to breathe, to laugh, and to reconnect with the people who matter most.
Mark 6:31 – "And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat."
Take a walk. Read a book. Enjoy nature. Prioritize your family.
You cannot be everything to everyone. And that’s okay because you were never intended to be. Only Jesus can occupy that role.
5. Godly Friendships
We were never meant to do life alone. Yet, many Christians lack deep, meaningful friendships outside of ministry or family responsibilities. Who refreshes you? Who makes you laugh? In fact, when was the last time you spent time with someone who you didn't have to minister to?
If you you're thinking to yourself, "I don't have many friends." Let me remind you of a hard, but needed truth: If you long for better friendships, start by being one.
Proverbs 18:24 – "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly."
The Right Perspective on Self-Care
Luke 10:27 – "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself."
Too often, Christians either neglect self-care or idolize it. But biblical self-care is about neither self-indulgence nor self-neglect—it’s about stewardship.
It’s not about loving yourself in a selfish way, but about loving yourself in a way that glorifies God.
When you take care of yourself rightly, you proclaim to the world: "I love because He first loved me!"
Jeremiah Riner is the pastor of Calvary Bible Church in Dufflield, VA and the host of the Deeply Rooted Podcast. He resides in Mount Carmel, TN and is married to his lovely wife, Morgan. They are the proud and blessed parents of Everly and Judah.
Comments